Young girls are not supposed to entertain until after they have made their debuts.

When a young man asks you to dance a bow and a smile is a sufficient acceptance.

A girl of sixteen does not have visiting cards

As you have left off mourning and are simply wearing black, there would be no impropriety in putting on a small gold bracelet if you fancied it.

A girl of fifteen might wear a chiffon or beer'age veil to protect her skin, but she should not wear the dotted or fancy veiling that is dedicated to older women.

A light delicate perfume may be used with propriety, but a heavy perfume, and one that scents the entire room in which a person who useless it is in very bad form.

If a young girl were very ill there would be no impropriety in her Mother bringing her betrothed to see her; although she would of course remain in the room during the visit.

If you are out walking with a friend, and met a gentleman you are aquatinted, but who is a stranger to the gentleman with you, he should raise his hat when you bow.

The present style of men's visiting cards is small, rather long than square, and upon them is engraved the full name, prefaced by "Mr." The use of "Mr." On a visiting card should not be omitted.

An only daughter haas upon her visiting-card "Miss Brown" If a man with which you wish to have no acquaintance with ask you to dance with him, simply say that you do not intend to dance that set, and join some of the elderly women who are acting as chaperons.

The bending of a visiting card, either through the center or at one corner, means that the card was left in person. This fashion has however gone out, and when a card is not left in person it is sent by post.

If your betrothed acts cooly toward you do not hesitate to ask the reason for his strange conduct, and if he confesses that his love for you has grown less be wise enough to break the engagement.

The idea that a wedding invitation necessitates a present has, sensibly gone out of fashion, and only those that are bound by ties of blood or close friendship have the privilege of sending a gift.

When a stranger is introduced to you at an evening function talk about the beauty of the room, the many pretty girls that are present and the pleasant time that everyone is having. Do not indulge in any personalities.

There is no lack of politeness in addressing an invitation to "Mrs. Brown," indeed, fashionable women consider it the most complimentary form, inasmuch as it seems to insinuate that there is only one.

Children are taught to say "yes ma'am, "or no ma'am" in preference.

The highest title given to the Queen of England, in conversation, is "Madam" and to the Prince of Wales." Sir".

When a man calls upon you and there is no impropriety, when he is leaving, in telling him that you will be happy to see him again.

A young man who is a perfect stranger has no right to send flowers to a young woman, and if he has been impertinent enough to use the names of others, they should be informed so that he may be made to understand exactly the wrong done, and the punishment deserved for it.

If a young man takes your arm as you are walking with him in the evening, make a jest of his ignorance, tell him, that it is leap year and you prefer to take his.

It is not in good breeding that a young woman be seen wearing three or four college pins belonging to young men. It is not a well-bred girl that would care to wear jewelry of any sort that did not belong to her, and her Mother should not permit her to be so foolish.

The fashionable visiting card for a married lady is a little longer than square, pure white, very thin, with the name engraved in ordinary script.

For a lady that lives in the country it is not in good taste to have the name on her visiting card of her country place, if she were to live in the city.

It is customary before having a Tea" or an at home" to pay all the visits that one owes.

Mark the household linen for your future home with the initials of your maiden name, or if you only care to use one initial then have the initial of your maiden surname. The most fashionable method is to embroider the monogram in white.

The letters on sheets, tablecloths, pillowcases and towels are usually two inches long, and those on the table napkins one inch long.

~~ ~~ VISITING CARDS ~~ ~~



In Victorian days, paying calls was a ritual, with every elaborate etiquette and very definite rules?

(Special costumes were created and worn just for paying calls. Elaborate richly" visiting toilette" appeared in Harper's Bazar in 1887 for all Victorian ladies to purchase for this very special occasion.

An English style tea might be served to callers during brief, ceremonious visits.

In the final quarter of the 19th century, at exactly Three o'clock every afternoon, Victorian ladies paused at the mirror in the front hall to see that their plumes and ribbon hats were pinned on straight.

Then they pulled on their dainty gloves, picked up their parasols and sailed forth to fulfill their most important social duty, the ceremony of " paying calls".

They were engaged in something much more formal and complicated then the casuals visits we make to friends and relatives today, for in the Victorian era, the call was the custom by which the lady made new acquaintances.

Paid her respects to her elders and " betters" and cemented her own position in society.

I was also a fine excuse to get all dressed up, Harper's Bazar magazine showed costumes that were created exclusively for visiting or receiving guest.

Etiquette might vary, depending on whether the lady lived in a great city or rural area, but the basic rules remained the same and journals offered young or inexperienced readers helpful advice.

In the early 1870's Godey's Lady's Book explained. " It is generally understood, and indeed almost a matter of necessity to ladies with large visiting list, that calls, unless the most intimate of friends, are confined to reception days".

To establish " her day'" Mrs. Smith would leave a card with each of her friends and acquaintances, with a handwritten notice that she would be"in" on Tuesdays. "

Her general acquaintances, then will understand that they will find her home, and at leisure to see them on Tuesday?" Godey's continued.

Unless they were specifically invited for another hour, persons of taste and gentility paid calls between three and five in the afternoon; to appear early in the morning, at meals times, or during those hours when everyone was busy with household duties would be very bad manners, indeed.

A proper call was a ritualized visit, lasting between 15 and 30 minutes. The caller perched on a chair and kept her hat and gloves on while she made polite small talk (" Rather cool for this time of year, is it not?" then took her leave.

On the way out, she dropped her calling card and two of her husband's (one each for the hostess and host) in a card receiver (a silver tray or flat dish on a stand) prominently displayed at the door

checked her bonnet again and continued on her social rounds.

At the end of a particularly day, she might have made as many as fifteen calls.

If her hostess was not at home, the caller left a card. An elaborate code indicated the nature of her call.

· Folding the upper right hand corner meant that she had come in person, rather than sending the card

· Folding the upper left corner signified congratulations

· * Folding the lower right corner meant goodbye

· * Folding the lower left corner expressed condolence